Where'd they go?

There are a few things, that no matter what, seem to always be missing around my house:

1. Socks. Where oh where do all the socks go? Granted, all 4 of my kids are guilty of taking them off in the car and leaving them there. Weekly I pull about 20 pairs out and maybe some get knocked out of the car while they are getting in/out? Wade has a horrible habit of hiding his under the cushions of the sofa when he is sitting/lying there but at least I can usually find two socks for a pair. The kids? Never. I have been sorting socks all morning and have at least 50 that are missing their match. Kyrie loves to wear mismatched socks for some oddball reason, so maybe I'll just dump them all in her room.

2. Silverware. I am thinking that these must accidentally get thrown away with the garbage because where else would they disappear to? Wade has been known to use things such as my expensive, nice kitchen knives for handyman work. I'm pretty sure our first house in AL has a few steak knives closed up in the roof from when he was repairing some shingles. The rest of it? I do not know.

3. Important papers/bills. My desk is supposed to be off limits to everyone but me. Fat chance of that happening. I had to sign the boys up for baseball this past week. For the life of me I couldn't find Daniel's birth certificate. I know where I keep them in the safe, but his wasn't there. I then remembered I had it out for his birthday trip to Disney in Nov. (annual members get a $70 gift card to use on merchandise on their birthday....or out of staters get a free pass on your birthday, but you have to show your birth certificate) and had put it in one of my desk drawers. Guess what? It wasn't there. After an hour of searching I found it on the floor of the gun safe. I know I didn't put it there. Oh well. I pulled it out and stuck it back in my drawer to take to the ballpark on Tues. Wade decided to go there today to fill out his coaching apps., so I went to grab the birth certificate for him to take and low and behold...it wasn't there. Jacob's was, but Dan's was missing again. I really thought I was going crazy until my loving spouse said, "Oh, I saw that in there and grabbed it." It was back on the floor of the safe. Sigh. I won't bore you with how many hours of my life I have wasted looking for important papers that he has moved thinking I would lose them.

4. Wade's keys. Enough said.

5. The boys' Sunday shoes. Every Sunday it is the same story. Frantic searching for their church shoes. This past Sunday Jake couldn't find his, so I told him to grab his tennis shoes. For some reason, he decided to wait until we were in the church parking lot to inform me that they weren't in the car. He went to church in his socks. The very next day we pull into the school parking lot (a 20 minute drive each way) and Kade figures out his shoes are not in the car. He went to school in the slippers I had on and I had to fill my tank up barefooted in 32 degree weather. I was running on fumes and had no choice. And it made me fuming mad. Maybe they will both figure out to make sure they have shoes on their feet or in their hands ready to put on before we leave the house?

6. From my list you can probably conclude that my SANITY is definitely oozing out of my brain. Little by little, I am losing my mind. I need to laugh a lot to balance out the crazy because really....all of the above are replaceable and the situations could be funny if looked at in the right frame of mind. So, if you see me laughing uncontrollably some day, just know that it is in an effort to not lose my mind.

Conversations With the Kids

Dan: Holding up pictures he has drawn
"Mom, these are the floods (jelly fish)."
He then proceeded to tell me their names, which were really out there and I could never spell if I wanted to.
"These are their testicles."
"Their what?"
"Testicles"
"Dan, do you know what testicles are?"
"Yeah, those long string things." (wiggling fingers in the air)
"Oh, you mean tentacles."
"Yeah, their tentacles."

Testicles, tentacles, long stringy things....all the same if you really think about it.

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas... A Few Weeks Too Late

It's sleeting today. Yes. Sleet. In Central Florida. I think it's about 34 degrees out right now. I managed to turn on the gas, light the pilot, and get the fire place going. Not sure why, but it keeps going out after 20 or so minutes. Maybe a high temp max auto switch off or something? Ehhh..who knows, as long as I don't blow us all up we're good.

We had a nice Christmas. Wade and I spoke the Sunday after in Sacrament meeting then the kids and I loaded up and headed to Alabama. Wade met us there Thurs morning. Funny story...I called him Wed afternoon. He was grumpy with me on the phone, said he would call later, but never did. So I didn't bother to call him back. All day Wed. I kept asking myself why I didn't book his flight for Thurs since I was sure his office would be closed for New Year's Eve. I even wondered if I could change his flight, but since he didn't call back, I didn't worry about it, just figured we'd see him Fri morning. Thurs morning Daniel woke early, so I headed downstairs with him to feed him and keep him from waking everyone else. Quite a feat in a house with 8 kids and not a lot of insulation between the flooring. Around noon I headed upstairs and happened to see I had some text messages and voice mails. "Hey, I'm here at the airport. Are you picking me up? Should I rent a car?"

Hahahaha....Wade got left at the airport. Really, not a big deal. He just rented a car and went to visit some friends at UAB, BUT, if he had bothered to call me back Wed night that wouldn't have happened. He was feeling forgotten or something and pouted all weekend long. We had a nice dinner at Taj India with Mark and Michelle Sat night and Michelle and I enjoyed a girls night out at Taste of Thailand (best Thai coconut soup ever...even better than TukTuk in LA. Dan and Jake were in heaven playing with Fox all week even though it was freezing outside. Kade read a complete series of novels...The Lighting Thief...and was entranced. Truly makes me happy since it is the first non-fiction books to hold his imagination and interest. He was upset when he was done after book 5. I've tried to get him started on Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites. I'm sure he'll like those too, but so far, no dice. He wont even try. Kyrie saw old friends and went out just about every night.

I was in heaven because of Yogurt Mountain. I love frozen yogurt with fresh fruit. Not the soft serve icecream type, but the real frozen yogurt, no sugar, fat free, tart stuff like I enjoyed every day in LA. Think Pink Berry or Red Mango. There is nothing like that close by here. I'd love to open a shop, but Wade isn't on board with that. I'm considering buying a mixing/serving machine to intall at home so I can eat it for breakfast and lunch daily. I need to look into the cost. I'm not kidding. I want one at home. That and Mochi for toppings with the fresh mango....yummy.

Ho Ho Ho

Daniel informed me last night that he wants a baby brother for Christmas. Or a baby girl. He would take either. Guess what Dan? Not gonna happen. I think Wade must be whispering encouragement to him since he would like the same thing. I actually ran into a patient of his a few weeks ago who mentioned to me that Wade had said he would like more children. Practically a stranger and she knew that? BUT, I do have a few friends who are pregnant, one for the first time, and we are all excited for them. Look, my eggs and uterus, not to mention the rest of my body, will shortly (much too shortly to my chagrin) be the big 4-0 and it has never been in my game plan to have a child graduating from HS and one on the way. However, if for no other reason than to piss off the global warming kooks who think having too many children add to our problems, I would gladly have #5. Not sure who will win out on this decision making.

Kade's only request was a cashmere sweater. I asked him when exactly he was planning on wearing it since we live in central Florida and it is seldom really cold here. Although, today, at 50 degrees I am freezing my buns off. He has been very hard to shop for this year. I was surprised he even knew what cashmere was. Someone at school had one and he liked it because it was so soft.

Kyrie wants a car. Guess what Kyrie? Not gonna happen. Not for now. Maybe later when you have a JOB and can pay your own way. I knew insurance for a teenager would be expensive, but this is ridiculous. $100 a month as a 2nd driver on the mini van. Florida auto insurance is more expensive than in California. How can that be? I'm not looking forward to the 2 1/2 years when Kade will be driving since teenage boys tend to cost even more. AND by that time, we might not be making much money as Uncle Sam is hell bent on ruining the health care industry...but that is not what this post is about so back to the merriment.

Jacob is looking forward to a Tony Hawk skateboard game that comes with a board without the wheels. However, after digging through my closet last night in search of said gift, and finding the stash, I told him his Ho Ho Ho might be a wha wha whaaaa as in, Santa has returned all of the Christmas presents because you were too nosey for your own good. I think I will win mother of the year for that one.

The fight isn't over yet

It has only just begun...and I'll be damned if 60% of America is going to roll over and take it any more. I encourage each of you in your respective states to get busy working on your state representatives getting a bill into place that will not allow a federal national healthcare act to be enforcable in your state.

http://www.tenthamendmentcenter.com

EDIT****I can always tell when I've posted while very tired. My use of the english language leaves much to be desired, but you get the idea.

Pass the Scotch

Tape that is....time for some wrapping. Of course, it would help if I'd actually done any shopping, but so far I've only had the chance to buy some items for a family that Jake's class adopted for Christmas. Truthfully though, after the week I've had I would like nothing more than to be able to knock back a few strong gin and tonics, stronger on the gin side. I can so see the draw of getting sh*t faced so one doesn't have to deal with reality. Just the thought of heading out to do any real Christmas shopping makes me want a strong drink even more. Since I've promised not to imbibe, I guess I'll settle for a strong hot chocolate with lots and lots of marshmallows.

All I Want For Christmas

Daniel had me write up his Christmas wish list for Santa.

Dear Santa:

For Christmas I want a machine gun, a shot gun, a trench gun, and a hand gun.

Sincerely,
Daniel

"Mom, what is a trench gun?"

I honestly have no idea but I think he has been watching his older brothers play Call of Duty a bit too much. At least we know he will keep the NRA happy with membership dues when he is older. Wade and I were pretty sure there had to be something else he wants, but no. Just guns. First thing this morning he hopped out of bed and found his list. He is still carrying it around. I will probably have to find a way to make him leave it home when we head out to church.

Yesterday he also told me, "I'll marry you if you give me a dollar. But don't tell dad." What a kid.

If I wrote a list to Santa it would probably be something like

Dear Santa:

For Christmas I want:
While visiting her home town of somewhere over the rainbow, Pelosi is squished when Dorothy's home lands on her. Boxer, Frank and Dodd too as they were visiting for cocktails. Obama should suddenly die from an aneurysm. He really should've given up smoking years ago. Biden can get hit by a car while walking drunk through The Villages. And Reid, oh Reid. What could I wish for Christmas upon thee? Hmmmm....how about grow a spine and find Jesus again, then resign from office in utter shame of the atrocities you have imposed upon your constituents? Maybe that is letting him off too easy? I'll have to think for awhile and re write his ending.

Okay. I know. Too much. But a girl can day dream right? It would actually be much more satisfying to see them all impeached then thrown into a federal pen when their illegal dealings come to light.

PS...I'd really like a H&K MP5 SD1