The Power of Positive Thinking

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

My motto while running. I really hate distance running, but my training for the past two months has allowed me to run over 300 miles in that time. Now that is really the power of positive thinking. Here are some "rough" stats.

300 miles
65 hours
36000 calories burned
ONLY 5 pounds lost

How can that be? All of that effort and time, blood sweat and tears and I only lose 5 pounds. I sure hope my finisher medal is worth it!!

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT
Whoops. I thin my math is getting a little fuzzy. I have to redo my numbers here. I've run an average of 15 miles a week for 2 months. That is only 120 miles. Dang I was getting lofty. So 120 miles give or take means 26 hours and 14,400 calories but still only 5 pounds. Whew. That much math gives me a headache worse than running 10 miles.

WHAT THE ____?????? Feel free to fill in the blank

I was looking at a story linked on Drudge Report about a fight at Chuck-E-Cheeses and saw this story HERE

Wow. I don't even know what to say except WOW. Seriously? A picnic table? Not even a blow up doll or pillow or how about apple pie...a picnic table? Dude. You. Have. Issues.

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentines Myspace Comments | Google Skins

The Real Power of Nookie

The other day while listening to the radio the DJ's were talking about women and their tendancies towards men. One of the questions was "What percentage of women have used sex to get something they want?" Easy...at least 98% right? WRONG!! The answer was 9%. WTH? To the other 91% of you LIARS I say...what's up? Do you not know the real power of nookie? Or are you just lying?

My good friend calls herself the tax whore. Her husband was 3 years behind in filing their tax returns. Taking matters into her own hands she promised one night of wonderful nookie for each year of returns done and mailed. Guess what? The taxes were done in record time. Me? Let's just say I know how to work it to get what I want. That would include new furniture, new cars, or even something as simple as getting the dishes done by someone other than myself. REally, it doesn't take much. My husband knows a happy momma is a the answer to lots of nookie and sometimes it only takes cleaning the kitchen for me to be happy.

So, I say to the 91% of ladies who have never used sex to get something they want...you haven't realized the real power of nookie. You are giving it up far too frequently and/or freely without the benefit of the perks that come along. Men are push overs!!! Give them some good nookie and they will promise you the world. Seize the power of nookie and work it baby!!

They Like Me, They Really, Really Like Me

I have been given the prestigious blog award of "Master" and have been requested to list 6 things that I am MASTER of. I have received this prestigious award from KamilliVanilli who is in her own right, the master of some pretty cool things. So, let's get down to it.

1. I am the MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE. Enough said, I should end my list right here and be done with it. If you know me, if you really, really know me, you know that I am always right, that I am smart beyond belief, and that everyone loves me. Hence, I am master of the universe, or at least master of my own little universe of make believe because none of the above are completely true. I do like being right, which I usually am, I am smart, at least a whole lot smarter than most liberals I know, and most peeps do love me some. Which leads me to #2.

2. I am the MASTER of pissing off liberals. Yes. I humbly admit that I love to tick of the liberals of the world, and we all know how easy that is to accomplish. I have found one of the quickest and easiest ways to do this is to tell them to put their money where their mouth is. For some reason they get pissy and whiny and mad as H-E-double hockey sticks when you suggest this. For example, a relative of mine has an old HS friend who grew up in the church but loves nothing more than to rip it apart every chance she has. She grew up never lacking for anything, has a husband who is an MD, and she went into social work thinking she could solve the ills of the world (as long as the government pays for all of it). The thing is, most liberals forget where the government likes to get their money (YOU AND ME!!). I suggested she put her money where her mouth is and open a free clinic with her money and her husband as the Dr. and viola. One little problem of people in her neighborhood who can't afford their medical care solved. She didn't like that. After all, why should she have to foot the bill to be charitable, compassionate, and LIBERAL when she can sit back, complain about the ills of the world and have good ole Uncle Sam fork out the dough? BTW, if you haven't picked up Glenn Beck's Arguing With Idiots you really should. It has many great examples such as the one I listed of liberals illogical thinking. The fallacy of their thought process is actually quite humorous and would make me want to laugh IF it didn't make me want to shove my foot up their back end first. Maybe I could do the kicking first and then laugh at them. Yes. That would feel GOOD!!

3. I am the MASTER of reading. I love to read. I typically read two novels a week. Sometimes that many a day. I am a true book worm. Right now I am re-reading The Count of Monte Cristo. Last week I finished The Last of the Mohicans, Pemberley Manor, and Mr. Darcy, Vampyre. The last two novels are continuations of Jane Austin's (another favorite author) Pride and Prejudice, written by others. As stupid as it may sound, I love reading books written for young adults too. I think it is because they are a quick, easy read and allow me to enter my own personal "NeverLand". I enjoyed the Twilight series, of course the Harry Potter series, The Mortal Instrument series, The Olympians series by Rick Riordan, The House of Night series, and Fallen by Lauren Kate which will have sequels. If I'm bored and have nothing new to read I will re-read many of the above, to the point that I have read each of the HP books at least 10 times. What is wrong with me? Don't answer that. I also love political thrillers, especially the books by Vince Flynn, Michael Crichton, and Brad Thor. Since my degree is in history I have also really enjoyed the Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters. Now, if we are talking church books, I have a hard time reading them. I did however love the Tennis Shoes Adventure stories, Children of the Promise and Hearts of the Children series and over last summer read all of The Great and Terrible series. Well. I have listed enough books to keep most of you busy reading for several years. If you need other suggestions I have more, but for brevity and your sanity I will stop now.

4. If the above paragraph hasn't made you wonder how I ever get anything done around the house you are obviously a male. hahaha So, #4, I am the MASTER of multi-tasking. For example, I have managed to move 3 loads of laundry through while typing this. Somehow, not always sure how I accomplish it, but somehow, we always have clean clothes, I almost always have dinner cooked, and the house is usually clean (except for the kids rooms. Let's not go there as it is a sore subject for me.)

5. If you were to ask my kids and my DH they would say I am the MASTER of nit-picking. I don't know why they would accuse me of this because the only time I have ever really picked any nits off of any of them were the two unfortunate times the kids had lice. Oh, wait, and the few times in Alabama that we had fleas in the house I would pick the fleas off of them. Other then that I am not a nit picker. Now, do I complain to them about being slobs? Heck yes and rightfully so. You should see my car. It would be more appropriate to call it a trash can on wheels at this point, and yet maybe only 2 items in there belong to me. I guess this is to be expected when one lives in their vehicle from 2:30 until 8:00 at night. (I'm also a great taxi cab service I guess, but that's not a fun one to list).

6. Hmmmm. I'm really going to have to think hard to find something else I am the master of. Let's see. A-Ha. I have it. I am the MASTER of "I HATE DISTANCE RUNNING". I got it into my head that I would like to run a 1/2 marathon before I hit 40, so I signed up for Disney World's Princess 1/2 Marathon. My SIL, who is quite a few years younger than me, is going to fly out to run with me. Well, probably run ahead of me as I'm sure to be slower than her. Physically, I can run and run and run, at least until my knees give out. Mentally, I make it to 2 miles and do not want to go any more. It is all a mind game for me. I literally HATE distance running. In HS I was a sprinter, hurdler, and jumper. I still even hold city and school records 20+ years later. My body is made up of quick twitch fibers, not slow twitch which is what you need for distance running. But, I am doing it. I ran 8 mils on Mon., 3 1/2 yesterday, and I think I'll go for another 8 tomorrow. Somehow I've got to build up to 10 so I can make it through the 13.1 on race day within 3 hours. Wish me luck.

And with that witty list that kept you begging for more of my exciting life story...I bestow the honor of "Master" upon the following two bloggers:
Owen, Avery, and Payton's Place
and DNA. If you don't want to do it TOO FRICKIN' BAD. Just kiddin' No pressure. If you really want this award, you can secretly let me know and I'll be happy to add a few more nominations.